you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
