he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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