Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
