but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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