I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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