Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
