it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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