So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
