I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
