Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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