that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
