i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
