And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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