I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
