The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
this just has baby written all over it
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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