I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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