I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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