Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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