shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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