Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
