You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
