he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
