Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
