sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
