I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
