haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
