I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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