Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
