go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Sorry my hands just texted you
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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