I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
