sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
