It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
