hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
