i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize