He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
