And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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