Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
