You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
