were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
