Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
