Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
operation harelip BJ is a go
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize