I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
