She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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