Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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