You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
