i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
hell yes lets make some ravioli
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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