the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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