so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
