look no pants
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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