i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize