That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
