meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
