ugly people sure do ruin things
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
