Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
