let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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