I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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