I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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