gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
