What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
