Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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