"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He shit in the fireplace
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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