Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
