I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
