i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
