My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize