Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize