Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
