I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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