I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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