He disabled his match.com account in front of me
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
