quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
