Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
This girl is more easily done than said...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
