Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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