I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
